Hello 2009!!

SO 2009 is my year of possibilites....I know that it means I'm putting a lot of pressure on this one year, but I have too. This is the year that I can say that my president is black, this is the year that I graduate from college, this is the year I begin what will be my adult life. All of this in one year...and it is scaring the living daylights out of me. I'm so not ready to accept all that is coming my way, the anticipation has gone now the dread sets in. I dread paying bills, I dread looking for a job and an apartment, I dread having to make decisions that set the tone for what is my life. I try not to compare myself to others because I believe that it can lead to either one of two things...self righteousness or self doubt, neither of which I want a yearly subscription to. However right now I can not help but to look at my peers and others around me and to consider where I stand amongst them. Right now I am not happy with the results in most catagories in my life including love, education, financial, and physical. In short, I feel like I am slacking BIG time on life. I know it's not to late to redeem myslef in my own eyes but still it is quite an emotional burden to bear. Thus I have set together a 3 and 6 month plan to help me to reach my goals that I have set but have not met thus far. I refuse to go down easy and so I won't. 2009 will be a great year though it's hard to see it right now....until next post smooches laters

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