Arrgggghhhh!!

I can't believe I am here again. Every time I think I am over this damn hump....I look back and realize I haven't gotten anywhere. I honestly am tired, tired of the dreams, the saddness and the constant pang of depression. I can't fight this feeling. Why? At what point will this feeling end? Its been years now and obviously everybody else who was in this situation has moved on. So why can't I? Maybe if I keep trying to get it off my chest to face it head on and deal with it....it will get better. Right?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Three states, One Girl

Image
No, this is not the beginning of a bad joke. It's actually the beginning of a cool trip. I had a conference in Boston a couple of weeks ago. That was my first time in MA, while there I took the opportunity to check off a couple of additional NE states that I'd never been too. Depending on who you ask NY may or may not be considered NE but in any case previously I'd only been as far north as CT. With this trip I also saw NH & ME. I actually had to look up the abbreviation for Maine because I'd never been and couldn't remember what it was 😅.  Coastal Maine was beautiful. I've obviously been on the east coast waters before but seeing it as a lush green forestscape was another thing entirely. I definitely see why it's the setting of so many Stephen King stories, it's hauntingly beautiful. New Hampshire was a bit more rustic than I expected in the most delightful way. Massachusetts (Boston) was fun to explore and I spent so much time doing something I ne...
Read more

Protecting my peace

Without fail just about everyone time I visit my mom she finds a way to infantize me, speak to me like I am a child in need of direction and then victimize herself when I address it.  It seems near impossible to have a pleasant time with family members because at every moment she is calling, texting,  commenting on every aspect of my being. Why is you hair like that, don't stay out past 10pm, you have gained weight, remember that you owe me something, every single time. I am constantly working on giving grace & having patience & empathy to no avail. If I attempt to course correct or say what I am feeling, then I am in the wrong. It's not a contest but I literally feel like I cannot win or catch a break. Hours later and I am still frustrated. Until next post.
Read more

Another trip around the sun

Moe-vember was one for the books. First I celebrated with a RenFest celebration at the first ever Fall Fling.  The weather was beautiful,  the mead was flowing and the vibes were immaculate. Birthday/Black Friday treat to myself? Taylor Swift's The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology. Then we went on a Bahamian cruise (Celebrity Silhouette). Then we spent a few days with J's family and spent more time at the beach. And then we went to my favorite park and just hung out and caught up with friends. This year has been full of new adventures, old favorites, lessons learned and lots of laughs. Thank you to everyone who celebrated Moe-vember (extended til December 7th 😅) with me and followed along. I'm a lucky girlie to be surrounded by so many folks who love and care about lil ol' me. Until next post...laters
Read more