Fenuxe

So I titled this post "Fenuxe" as a play on the traditional spelling Phoenix for two reasons 1) it's symbolic of the changes that have happened in my life & 2) showing how rebirth doesn't always happen how/when/why you want it to. Now that we are on the same page let's dive into the details of my latest rebirth. I may have already touched on this but just in case I'll do it again. I am currently living the single life again (not very well, but I am doing it) and as such I have used this opportunity to look at myself in the mirror and try to see what others may see. In essence what makes people want to be around me and in some cases ultimately date me. When I did this,  there were physical aspects I still wasn't satisfied with and some inner qualities that I felt needed some refinement.  So that has been my task of late, getting through the fire of a breakup and rising from the ashes as a fenuxe with new radiance! So far I have met each step of the transformation with embracing arms and opened heart but parts of me wonder if it's superficial.... I don't want it to be but that annoying little voice of doubt wonders out loud in my head "Are these self sustaining changes or temporary fixes?" I really wished she would close her mouth and let me be. Either way I figure the only real answer to that question is to keep doing what I am doing and see how things play out. In the end all I am looking for is growth......until next post.....laters

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