Captain's Blog: Reflective

It's almost been a year since I left the place I've come to call home for the unknown. That unknown being life abroad and graduate school. Making the decision was hard, in fact when I first began the path of graduate school I was single, unsure of any potential for growth or diversity in my job and had started to feel like I had outgrown my life. No longer was I the young 20something, new to the city, exploring and discovering myself. In fact I felt the opposite. I felt like I had been there...done that...time to move on. I don't always think that everything happens for a reason, but I do believe that our path is winding and we don't always clearly see what's ahead of us.

Anyway back to the reflective bit. I was in a place where I needed a change (or so I thought) and thus decided to apply for grad school. Fun fact: I looked for schools here and abroad. I also explored taking the GREs again or doing a short course to see if I could even handle being in school again. I decided to focus my energies to schools outside the US. I figured I may never be so unattached again and there may be possibilities for other things (like love) there that were not here.

Best laid plans as they say. Flash forward a few months after applying and getting into grad school, I got back together with J and I had a dynamic new position at work that I loved. Now what? Do I stay? Do I go? I made the choice to delay for a year and really see where that path was leading. Glad I did. Everything was great but felt unreal or unsustainable. Almost too good to be true. I realized I needed to test the waters. So I dived in to the unknown. I tested the fabric of my relationship by putting thousands of miles and a couple of time zones between us. I took a leap of faith with my career thinking that at the very least I could come back and make money while I looked for the next step in my career. I trusted myself in a situation that meant learning a new culture, way of doing things and yet thankfully not a new language...sort of. The Brits definitely have their own way of speaking hahaha.

Through all that for all the work, hard nights, tough papers, travel, friends, loneliness, adventures I'd do it all again.

I learned so much about myself and my wants and my goals and the people I love and have come to love.

As I reflect of where I was a year ago and where I am today I was ecstatic and nervous then and I am feeling the same now.

Until next post.....laters