March Madness

This has been one of the most stressful months I've had in some years. Work is fine, it's the family life that's insane. The parents are downsizing and they are not making it the easiest thing. The only good thing that's come from it has been reflecting on my childhood. I had a pretty decent one. I'm what some refer to as a "third culture kid". A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is an individual raised outside their parents' culture for a significant part of their development, blending their birth culture with new ones. TCKs often develop high adaptability, multilingualism, and a global, "relational" identity, though they may face challenges with rootlessness and defining their sense of "home". I never really had issues defining home though, I had my family. Though sometimes my parents would tease me about my accent during visits back or the like I always had my grandma and cousins to root me. 

I think because of my TCK lifestyle, I've been having a hard time helping my parents understand what needs to be done with the former house, with their new apartment and other aspects. Things that have come natural to me, seem to be really difficult for them especially my mother) and a part of me suspects several reasons behind it. Namely, the last time a large move like this had to happen, she had her best friend and support (her mother), also the locale is where she lost that best friend and so letting go of that place feels diffcult because my mother never really dealt with the death. For years she blamed my grandmother's nurse (with no proof) for her death ignoring the fact that she was dealing with advance stage lung cancer. In addition I think that since they've only ever lived in houses the transition to an apartment and the habits and issues that go along with that are understandably foreign. Finally, I do think age is a factor. They aren't spring chickens any more and had settled into a routine and way of life that is vastly changing and it may seem to be happening too quickly for them to process. I've tried to make concessions and to have empathy in the situation but it's almost as if that's running out as I try to navigate the varying mood changes and swings.

As we navigate this next stage together, I am thankful that we do have that.....each other. Even if it's hard and frustrating and exhausting and maddening and exciting and a host of other things. Until next post, laters