My Pet!!!


my pet!

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Summer Olympics 2012!!!

What takes over my life for two weeks every four years? The Summer Olympics of course! I love the Olympics b/c of the spirit behind it. To me (and I think the rest of the world too) the olympics are about being on an even playing field and universal commadarie. For two weeks every four years we set aside our wars and our differences and just try make our countrymen proud. In addition most of the athletes are amped to meet and compete against their idols or people who are generally important to their respective sport. This year was especially awesome for me because this is the first Olympics in history (thirty games thus far) where every country has sent a woman delegate. Keep making strides world!!!! So being Jamaican I generally always watch the track and field events if nothing elses,this year I decided I was going to watch as much of the televised events as I possibly could. Its been pretty cool because I think I have seen just about every event from Judo to Shooting to Archery to ...
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Decide

The past few weeks I've been having various versions of the same dream. Something happens tragically to J (death, injury, disappearance) and I am not only witnessing it I can't stop it from happening. However, I still try to. I scream, I fight, I look for help, every time and it's always the same outcome. His demise and my sorrow. I mentioned it casually to my therapist who pretty much posed the question: what am I not talking about to him? What am i holding on to that is manifesting in this way? Tonight, he came home after a night out. He was loud, he brought home some folx he'd just met and though he did apologize for not warning me and for the disturbance, he didn't adjust his behavior.  That's when it hit me (well technically 3 hours later when I couldn't sleep) it's the constant lack of consideration and thinking of me (and by extension my needs) that I afford to him. If I've come in from being out...I tiptoe in. I barely turn on lights. I get u...
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Being broke aint no joke..............

So I looked my bank account today just for fun, balance $3.23. What a depressing number. I cant even get a full meal at Mickey Dees.. I need to work but I can't b/c I have the flu. This of course depresses me even more. It sucks to struggle so much. I would say that it will get better once I graduate but with the job market as it is right now I'm going to be broke for quite some time. You know what I don't want to think or write about this any more. Laters
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