Hi all hopefully I have been missed. I know I haven't made a post since Wednesday, but that's because I went home for the weekend. Boy was it an experience.......Lets talk about greyhound which must be runned by black people because every bus I got on was delayed. At one point I was stuck some place for almost 3 hrs when my lay over was supposed to be 15 mins what a hell of a difference. But that's not important what is important though is that I made it home and back in one piece. I had fun I did one of my favorite things(go to the movies) with one of my favorite people(VJ) It was a blast and the movie wasn't bad either.......I really wasn't home sick until I went home does that make me weird????? N E way I'm going to go and do my homework because I also have laundry to do....laters
Decide
The past few weeks I've been having various versions of the same dream. Something happens tragically to J (death, injury, disappearance) and I am not only witnessing it I can't stop it from happening. However, I still try to. I scream, I fight, I look for help, every time and it's always the same outcome. His demise and my sorrow. I mentioned it casually to my therapist who pretty much posed the question: what am I not talking about to him? What am i holding on to that is manifesting in this way? Tonight, he came home after a night out. He was loud, he brought home some folx he'd just met and though he did apologize for not warning me and for the disturbance, he didn't adjust his behavior. That's when it hit me (well technically 3 hours later when I couldn't sleep) it's the constant lack of consideration and thinking of me (and by extension my needs) that I afford to him. If I've come in from being out...I tiptoe in. I barely turn on lights. I get u...
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